That I'm not the same person I was 2 years ago, before I was diagnosed as bipolar. That person is dead, she's gone. No amount of medication is going to bring her back, whenever I was overly nice or happy it was because I was obviously hypomanic and it didn't last for very long because my baseline 'seems' to be moderately depressed. A good day for me is not having a suicidal thought the whole day, and the fact that I haven't been in hospital for 4 months is a miracle for me because I am really, really unstable, and I have been for 2 years. I honestly don't know what to say anymore, they obviously miss that person, I miss her too, but I can't go back to who I was before, I can't change the experiences I've had or the **** I've gone through.