I assume you have at least one child from what you said so I would recommend that you both attend counseling even if you do decide to split up. You will still be a part of each others life for a very long time if you are both to have equal access to your child and it would be a great if you still got along without the bitterness or guilt that has occurred so far.

I wish I had more/better advice you but I can commiserate since I went through something similar about 13 years ago.