Hello.

I thought id pop back after 5 months from the time I had written my experience. I wasnt sure if I should, and I didnt want others who are just starting to go through what I have to think that it can take this long or longer to get over this, I think its a individual thing.

Iv not been right since my therapy ended, and still am not. Iv been through a few types of medications for depression, in which my dosages have got taken up over and over again. Iv had very negative effects from medication such as poor sleep, shaking, jolting in my sleep, detachment, dizzy, deep feelings of displacement, emotionless, to deep depression. Iv struggled to gain any interest in life, and hobbies, although im trying to fill my day to keep my mind occupied.

I still to this day think of my therapist, and no matter how I I try to reason with it all, and make sense of it, my intercultural understanding of it all makes zero difference to my emotional feelings towards her. I can only explain it as being hypnotised into having feelings towards someone whom I dont know what so ever, and will never know or may even see again. I still think this connection I have is so real I will meet her again, and things will sort themselves out if they where meant to be, even although I know its not! real, and will never happen.

So sorry to come back with such bad outcome so far, but what has happen to me isnt going away, and cant help but feel it will remain with me to the day I die. I still get tears in my eyes when I think of her, but hold it in. I still feel lost, and need her. Im in therapy now with somone else to help me deal with these things, but nothing is going to shift this.

Thanks.