Hello.
I am making this post because I desperately need help, and I wanted opinions on what kind of therapy I should pursue.
I have a small penis. I have homosexual tendencies because of this reason. I find it hard to have sex with girls because of my issue. It is easier for me, psychologically, to have sex with men, although I don't. I do not mean anything bad but I am not happy I have these tendencies and I am very aware of why they exist. I am not emotionally attracted to men whatsoever and I envision my future to be with a woman, because that is what I want. I am just incapable of acting/being normal on a sexual front. I spent the weekend with this super hot girl and there was weirdness caused by me because we were together in a summer villa and it was natural for me to make a move and for us to have sex. I did neither.
My problem makes me suicidal. I don't think I would ever end my life because it would affect those around me negatively and I just don't have the guts to do it, and I have other good things in my life that make me hopeful. And I am also convinced that one day I will be with someone again that I am comfortable with. I had a girlfriend for 3 years and we were happy and she loves me to death and we used to have sex and she used to orgasm but still knowing all that doesn't make me brave enough to have sex with someone who doesn't love me etc. I want to fix myself.
What would be the best type of therapy to solve this issue? I really don't want just someone to talk to because I know all there is to be said and I know my self pretty well, so I doubt it will be of use. I don't want to be told that size doesn't matter. I don't want to be told that it's okay. Are there other disciplines/techniques that could help? Other than therapy, can ayahuasca help me?