Thread: Roll call 80
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Old Jul 10, 2016, 02:37 AM
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Erti Erti is offline
Princess Tutu
 
Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 7,913
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hyperagitate View Post
I've been thinking about my life lately. I don't know what to do.

Feeling extremely anhedonic. I'm scared and a bit paranoid.

I want to be energetic, have a life, friends, a girlfriend, money.

And I don't want to do drugs so I need to get that out of the way. I've been killing myself lately but I stopped completely.

My psychologist is a bit mad but I need actual help. It's the reason as to why I self medicate and it isn't just to stay awake. I have real problems.

I'm sitting in this stupid ****ing basement in the middle of no where with no future, no money, no family, no friends, no car.

My grandmother and family are offering to take me into Vicotoria in Vancouver to do studying, healing.

That means absolutely no ****ing around.

My mom and step dad are always drinking and fighting. I had enough.

I heard a new quote of my step dad against my dad, "At least I didn't put my son in a mental institution".

I WANT THIS ILLNESS TO GO AWAY. As do we all. I'm working on it. I felt better without the oral medication. Maybe I'm on too much.

I don't know what I want to be. I hope to somehow do something out of the ordinary. Something that will make me big money but not just yet.

I have dreams but I'm so scared of walking outside right now. I can't concentrate on reading a book and have I not said yet God holy **** this illness.
Sounds like the first step is getting help with your drug abuse problem. That seems like the most dire thing you got to focus on right now. One issue at a time. Otherwise it'll just overwhelm you. Setting goals may also help. Maybe set a long term goal and then make several different sort term goals that'll help you achieve that long term goal.

I agree... I hate this illness. It's debilitating with everything. It's hard to take care of yourself. It's hard to focus and concentrate on ****. It destroys old and new relationships with people. Then when **** goes down with yourself and people you care about it makes everything worse. It's a battle.
Thanks for this!
Loial