Hello ,

I already wrote about my fear of becoming psychotic .... Well it was ok for a few weeks! The fear was present all day but not that much ...

But now since yesterday it's getting worse

It started when I had a walk with my two kids ! They sat in theire buggy and I had some music in my ears ... I was so into that music and suddenly I felt derealised and depersonalised so much .... The self-observation started and I did not took long and I was totally sure that this is it now and that my biggest fear now is becoming reality ! It not just felt like I will develope psychosis it felt like i am right in a psychotic episode ! My ocd then got so worse , that I started to think that I am delusional ! I thought about events that happened in the past and that could have been the first signs .... I went to bed yesterday with a terrible fear inside and I woke up with that ! Also had a dream about hearing voices and being psychotic ... I feel so bad right now ! My two kids are around me and I try my best to function but is still feel the derealization and depersonalisation so bad , so it is hard for my to move on right now !

Is it done now ?!? Am I actually psychotic and its not just anxiety and ocd anymore ?!?