I feel like my mania is directed at the anxiety center and I have maniacal anxiety. What a waste of good energy. Not enough sleep lately getting average of 4 hrs a night for a week. Just exhausted with tons of strength. :/ I can handle one illness peaking at a time (I think), but one influencing another like this seems insurmountable. It's like - all the energy, instead of being energy directed out, is directed in - battering down my worth. Breaking all internal fortitude. Maybe I will lay down, and let myself be broken. Maybe it is some kind of good and natural thing? IDK, it is scary, I need my inner support beams intact. Or maybe it just feels like it and I am in a process of being remade....