Dear dotty0000 - I hope you are doing alright, if not a little better. I believe I understand the feeling of not wanting to go on or even try anymore - sometimes the feelings and experiences can be so overwhelming, and there is no quick-fix. To me, it's like being on fire - I'm rushing around, cannot stop because the urgency is so great; it feels like being engulfed by my terrible feelings and memories, with a pain on par with physical pain.

can you speak with anyone about this? Grounding may be too much for you right now - when my PTSD was out of control, the last thing I was able to do was still my mind, halt the images. I needed more immediate help, in the form of medications to help me be less agitated/more receptive to mindfulness/DBT/CBT.

May I ask whether you have a doctor you see for these feelings? I hope you won't mind some suggestions that I can vouch for as helpful to me (in varying degrees):
RAINN helpline was helpful for me in the immediate moment, as they deal with a lot of these issues (trauma/rape, and their residual effects). I see you are in the UK, I've reached out to the Samaritans via email many, many times; they do have numbers for the UK on their site; this might be of help?

Sometimes I just need to talk/yell/write out my frustrations and anger; perhaps this is what you are doing here. The forums here are an excellent place to do this without judgement, and there is a lot of support.

I hope you will post further, here, to say what is going on, how you are doing.

I'm glad you have your animals; my pets are a great comfort to me.

Take care