I too have experienced long term depression and ongoing SI.

Your description really does encapsulate the feelings that I experience, like you, every day that I push forward, trying to find hope in small things and in the few people who I know love me and rely on me.

I have said in another post, one of the things that has prevented me from attempting is that I am absolutely certain that I would succeed.

I also said in the star sign post that "I AM a Virgo" and perfectionism is one of the traits that I definitely possess and this is not a good combination with experiencing SI and severe depression. The fear of success is often the thing that stops me.

I think sometimes you just have to get through the daily rituals and live another day and maybe tomorrow will be better even for the smallest of reasons.

Get that cat, I find my little dogs definitely help -they make me smile and also I always think, "who would feed them their special meals" as they are old and toothless and arthritic.