Day 46 today.
I took a major risk yesterday, and leveled with my brother who is helping me financially. He's had a super successful career and has never understood alcoholism or mental illness. I haven't been telling him about my relapses or treatment plans, because I know he thinks I should be just focused on finding a job.
A couple of weeks ago he sent me a NY times article about addiction, and yesterday I responded to him, giving him my opinion about the article in terms of my experience with rehab over the years.
I then decided to level with him, and told him I was back in an IOP program while waiting to get into residential rehab which I was doing at the beginning of Aug. and then following it up with another 10 weeks of IOP, while I was job hunting. And I told him how hard it was with wanting to drink every day.
He called me later and while we didn't address my e-mail specifically, he did say it sounded like I needed to concentrate on treatment for a while, which coming from him is a huge concession.
So I was glad I was honest with him.
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"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn.
"If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba
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