Thanks a lot for your reply MusicLover82��

I have to thank you so much cause you take the time to answer my questions and fear ! You already answered my first post and it helped a lot ! Today it's a little bit better ...but still not like it was ! When the derealization and depersonalisation hit me like this , it just feels so unreal ... Everything feels so unreal ! It's not like I really have delusions but when I feel like this I am testing myself and am looking for any sign that would proof that I am psychotic you know ?!? Like " am I feeling watched?" " am I feeling like people are out to get me?" "Did I completely lost touch with reality now ? ....
I talked with a few therapists about that ! They also Know about my fear of being delusional Nd they say it's all due to my anxiety and Ocd and because I read so much about schizophrenia and psychosis .Also my family knows about my fear ! I always have to get assurance from them that I am not acting weird or something ! But feelings and situations like Saturday make me questioning what the people are telling me ! I ask myself "what if they miss something?" "What if they misdiagnosed me?"
And it feels like I can't do anything to overcome this fear and becoming psychotic is my destiny
Everytime when I start to feel happy the fear pops in my mind and I can't be happy anymore cause I think about this horrible thing that will happen to me in the future even though it seems to be Just in my head ��