I do feel an anxiety about saying or doing the "wrong thing" in public. I admire comedians their ability to say and do outrageous things, and yet not feel embarrassed.

I both fear and desire the ability to say and do outrageous things without apology or embarrassment.

I think my struggle may have arisen because I remember that I've said and done things in public that I later regret...usually because they go against my morals. So, I don't quite trust myself to always say and do the right things. It's like I know I need to think about and moderate my actions and speech, in order to prevent myself from saying or doing things that I might regret.