I have PTSD from abuse too. Rape is NEVER the victim's fault, especially when you were a kid. Your abuser took advantage of you and I'm so sorry to hear this happened to you. I agree that it is hard to love someone else when you don't love yourself. But remember, you are worth love. Try doing good things for yourself, care for your body, maybe get a massage if you like them, celebrate you, because you are worth it. Is therapy helping at all? If not maybe try a different therapist. Try to find one that specializes in trauma.