I don't know what to do. I've felt completely horrible for the last 4 days. Extremely anxious and panicky, constantly irritable and p*ssed off and feeling like I want to crawl out of my skin. It's making me extremely suicidal, much more so than I have been recently. I don't want to sleep (been having horrible nightmares) but I don't want to be awake either. I haven't left my apartment since last Thursday.

My Pdoc is on vacation until the first week in August. My care is centered at the Bipolar clinic in town so I can't go to another psychiatrist. My only option would be to go to the ER but the past 4 times I've been there they have done absolutely nothing. Last time they sent me home with 4 pills of what equate to benedryl and told me the ward was full even though i probably should have been placed on suicide watch. I also can't go see my T because I've been transferred to the bipolar clinic and I'm on a waiting list there for a new T.

I hate this feeling. HATE it. I feel like I'm losing control.