Well, it seems like a charming and well-written profile. I found after reading it, I was thinking, "He seems interesting! But I want to know more about him personally." You write about what you do and what you like, which is good - the only thing I'd personally ask for is to know more about *who* you are. Personal traits/qualities. That is what I tend to look for. I hope that was at least a little helpful, or at least not offensive.