I think you need the ER, too, but I know your healthcare system is very complicated based on your posts.

Can you call your pdoc's office for an appt ASAP? In the US, they have a pdoc filling in/on call if the regular pdoc is away.

Call a crisis line.

Is there a friend or family member you can be with 24/7? Have them take away any items that can be harmful.

Remember suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You aren't alone. Keep posting here. This WILL pass.

I think you need the hospital, really. Even if it sucks. Tell them exactly how you feel. Do not sugarcoat it. Say you are suicidal and not safe at all. Get stabilized, sweetie. You can do this.