hurts too much. pain has been bad this week. got my period too which doesn't help. but it is more than just that because it is lasting longer than that. feel so heavy and painful inside. mad that he is leaving and so very painful that he is leaving. shouldn't let myself get attached. he got defensive today. didn't understand my specific complaints... got defensive. haven't really seen him do that before. guess i gave him a little taste of how i feel. 'cept he can go away and have a nice holiday and forget all about me. terrific for him. i don't think i am gonna go back. hurts too much. don't get attached to people they'll just let you down. have other things going on for them that are more important than you. kick you to the curb when something better comes along. i've got so much i need to be doing. i'm hurting so much. scared to go to work 'cause i'm scared i'll burst into tears. feel so tired and hurt so much. maybe i should take a valium. i hate him. i hate him. i hate him.