Sooo.. I updated my CV

Not sure when I am gonna apply but hey updating CV is a first step. Making a good CV is hard for me, I don't know whether mine will attract any employer. As RPG lover the first kind of CV that came to my mind was :
Mad magician looking for a job.
Experience : 85795 points, next level is 85796 points
MP/HP : Full/Full
Weapon : Epic Magic book, taught by a guy when I was transforming myself as Niviane. That guy was Merlin.
Type of magic : Fire Magic speciality but also can do any element like avatar
Armor : Ancient legendary armor, stolen from hecate chthonia when exploring the underworld
Special ability : Teleportation (both place and time), won't arrive late for work. Can also summon demonic minions which have black fur, tail, and whisker
Mythical creature companion : Phoenix, won't die because of deadline, always reborn
Expected salary : 1000xPastry of the Castle. Another galleon and sickle for an extra hour
Huh. Life without imagination is boring.
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One day I’ll leave my 6 flowers
and millions of butterflies 🌹🦋