Could be.... I'm not sure who to believe when it comes to theories about how to deal honestly with anger/hostility.

I'm leaning more toward the idea that when one is angry, one is making judgments about situations... The CBT model, basically. So, in this model, there is no need to express your reasoning (the messages you tell yourself, and/or the judgments you make) to anyone else... it's more about being honest with oneself. Correct the incorrect messages and judgments, and there will be no reason for anger- according to the CBT model.

For me, it's messages I tell myself with the word "must" in them. For example: sometimes it's the assumption that I must be able to handle every situation without it ever affecting my emotions, at all. If my emotions do become an issue, then that's intolerable, and I've failed. I must not fail. (so, not only am I angry at someone else, I'm also angry at myself because of my failure to handle the situation perfectly).

I think another one is, "no one must ever see that he has 'gotten to me', or even suggest that he has 'gotten to me', if he does, I've failed."