Tonight, my relationship of 2 + years has ended. I am absolutely astonished and so hurt, it was a mutual break up, but i dont think that makes it any better. I think it hurts so much that im in shock, i cant believe i havent been bawling my eyes out all night. I miss him so much already. I dont know what to do with myself anymore. I havent been a full day without him and its hard for me to believe that time is going to make this any better. I really feel that he was my first true love, and i cant help but worry about him. Im so worried that I was the only thing standing between him and his throwing his life down the drain. Im worried hes going to drop out of school and go back to his old lifestyle. I cant help it. I love him still, and we both still care about each other and hope to be friends in the future. For now, however, i feel so torn, and absolutely drained emotionally. I wish that i could fix this. i feel so alone.