I have a question. Is it considered normal to be able to see the flaws in something or, in some cases, someone who is extremely shady, when someone else who is overly optimistic about everything just can't see it. I feel like it comes off as negative or arrogant.

In other words, I feel like it sounds like I wish more people were negative. That is not the case. I don't wish people to be depressed or negative all the time and constantly finding the flaws in every single thing they see or everyone they meet. Everyone and everything has some flaws, and sometimes we just have to deal with it. I know how to deal with it.

What I am talking about is if something is going to go terribly wrong, like for example, a project that is deemed to fail and has to be changed, or in cases, someone being shady or using others, I feel obligated to let it be known to someone who is obviously not seeing it or refuses to see it in order to cause further problems.

For example, someone who had the tendency to use others to her benefit and controlling once invited herself, unannounced, to spend the night in someone's dorm room. This was after she graduated college. She showed up and the very optimistic person did not want her around so she tried to be very optimistic and allow me to let her sleep in my dorm room.

The college I went to was a Catholic school, so they were extremely strict on that stuff. If you allow someone, especially a visitor of the opposite sex, to sleep in the same dorm room as you, you could face serious fines and possible expulsion from the residence halls. I was not about to risk that, especially since I could not commute an hour every day.

I pointed out all the reasons that is not a good idea, not to mention that I did not want someone who had used me in the past to be around me anymore. I was very honest about my opinion and denied her access to my room. I would not allow it and told her she should either find somewhere else to go or go back home. Of course when that got around to the unannounced visitor, the visitor got super pissed and upset.

Once she left campus, the very optimistic girl got very pissed at me, saying I had no right to do that and that I need to stop being so negative. I may have been, but I just didn't feel comfortable. Same for other things, if I see something that is going to happen and impact me or others in a bad way, I will say something. I am the same way when people try to get me to hang out with anyone else who I know for a fact has used me and don't wish to be around.

Maybe it makes me negative, but at the same time, sometimes I feel like some extremely optimistic people don't see the flaws in things that could obviously wrong and affect me or others in a negative way. Does that make me sound arrogant even though I feel like I am just trying to prevent bad things from happening? I don't do this all the time, only when it is absolutely necessary. Thankfully it is a rare occurrence, but when it does happen, I feel like people should know, especially those who seem to be so oblivious to what could happen.