((Big Mama)),

You were very alone and intimidated in your relationship with your husband. It made you question your personal worth too.

It's a "big" decision to give up the distance you gave yourself, the safety you created and go back to a place where you really don't have your own distance and "safe zone". Your husband wanting "you" so bad isn't enough, it's what YOU want that is important in this picture, what's right for "you" instead of you giving that up again.