Thank you for both your similar situations. With dating, I know it helps to literally "just be yourself" as overly said that saying is. And I agree, don't throw out all your eggs at once and tell them all your problems. It's a glittery at first, and then it glitter fades and you see the defects and the awareness of what is "wrong" with you. We all have insecurities. Slowly show this girl how you are and why you're shy. Just smile, make her laugh, show her she is important to you, that's all that matters. The rest will fall into place. And congrats on finding a girl that may be a potential partner and for stepping out of your comfort zone. You've already taken the first step.

And for my second friend, I know it's hard to think we won't get hurt. It's all about trust and boundaries. Keep "dating" this girl until you are truely ready. Tell her your fear. All of that. I think girls like it when guys talk about their feelings the most. And if you get hurt, (this goes for you too, friend #1) try again later. sometimes we are one asshole away from our soulmate, or however that goes.