hmm.. well, you know... in my personal opinon i think we can bring upon ourselves many many things.. like, say you say that your arm is broken, repeatedly... not just saying that your arm is broken, but you are believing it more and more each time you say it, repeatedly... then you know next thing you know your arm really seems broken, cant move it, cant touch it, its very much painful... the mind has the ability to manipulate the bodie, the mind can create disease, and it can heal disease... its a powerful thing the mind is really really

i am not sure again... but i think things like depersonalization and derealization can be brought on just by thinking, like if you start thinking about it... if you read about it especially and start feeling a pull or obsessive type feeling towrads it like its maybe what you feel is wrong, even if it is what you are feeling, since you feelt like you were feeling dead... can really exacerbate the sensations...

i dont know too much right now because my brain is not working so well.. which really makes me not want to say things... but i do like talking to others and stuff... so i hope that i dont annoy you or anyone else...
its just that my brain is tired i guess and its making me not able to use full capacity...

but for example... the past 5 or 6 years i was going to the clinic to try to get help, they diagnosed me with bipolar... right off the bat i was like, wait i know what bipolar is i am for sure not bipolar guys you have to reconsider! and of course they dont listen to a crazy manic bipolar... which im really not bipolar... but they didnt know... but about a 2 years into treatment they started convincing me that it was bipolar... that what was happening was because of a fluctuations of moods from depressions and manias... which it wasnt clearly now that i am away from their ... repeated... influence....

but what i mean is that we can begin to believe pretty much anything... givin enough time and persuasion... what is important is how its efefcting us... and it seems like you are being concerned with it so it wouldnt be a bad idea to see someone about it, just take some notes about what you feel and talk to them...
its not a bad thing... even if its not depersonalization you could hear them say that is severe anxiety or something and have a name for it and get help for it you know?

ocd sucks... its enough to drive anyone mad... so if you are dealing with something like depersonalization, i dunno if it is involved in ocd because im kind of stupid right now... but even if its not doesnt mean that you are not experiencing it... and the only/best thing we can do is talk about it, talk it out... learn grounding techniques... the therapists can be super helpful and caring

but please, dont take everything i say to exact truth because im strugling pretty rough... and its hard for me to know whats happening from moment to moment... and even i dont know if its dp/dr or dissociation... the therapist said that it is invovling dissociation so ... i dunno.. just hard to believe these things i guess because it plays many tricks on your mind...

just try to tell yourself that you are not dead, but if you are dead, you are here talking to me and that means im dead too, so we are all dead together, which really means we are like being alive together, so whats better than being dead together and not have to worry about dieing? hehe
know what i mean?