Quote:
Originally Posted by kaver4
If anyone can offer insight from personal experience I would be greatly appreciative.
I am wrestling with an unhealthy need for attention from my husband due to craving attention from my father as a young girl. In my case, I didn’t have an absentee father but he was dealing with mental health issues and my sibling acted out very strongly and therefore received much more attention because of discipline - I was the quiet one. As an adult I understand why my childhood was the way it was but it unfortunately did not prevent me from developing some pretty bad character traits in terms of attention seeking. Socially I’m well balanced but at home I am really acting out to the point of starting fights and this has GOT to stop. It doesn’t help that my husband brings his own baggage into the relationship as well. I’ve been to a therapist before but he stated that I was ready to finish up counseling after a short time, and I felt so too because I also ready up on my concerns a lot and so quite a bit of the therapy was stuff I had heard already.
Just looking for anyone’s personal tips that helped them along the way and thank you very much!
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Hey love, thanks for the post. I get this to a good degree. I've been in relationships where I know my attention seeking and such is directed at my lack of (emotional) father figure. My dad is there and was there growing up but not emotionally and never asked me how I feel, etc. I am in and out of counseling and I also applied this and my resentment against my father in 12-step groups and step work. It helps a lot. Two things , well 3 things I've noticed helps:
1. Seriously working on myself / my growth /therapy/self help books or groups/ etc
2. Trying to rebuild a relationships with my father today and if that isn't an option for you, seeking out a family friend or uncle to get fatherly-love from, coffee dates, phone calls, etc.
3. I've noticed with my relationships I can only get so much of my emotional needs from my S/O. I have to get the rest from friends, family, God/universe, nature, relationships with myself, Etc. that's just me.
I hope this helps. therapy really works, I know a lot of my emotional abuse and sexual abuse from my past carried on and I'm still mad at my dad for never asking me about my personal emotional life. But with time comes healing, and taking it out on my boyfriend is never fair. I've come a long way in these areas. Much love!!