First of all, if you feel like you're going to harm yourself in any way, go to the nearest emergency room right away. Your life is precious.

Second of all, lack of sex can put a strain on a marriage, but that alone should not be a reason to end a marriage. You can also be reassured that there are other medications out there to try that may not adversely affect your sex drive. Let your pdoc know how important sex is to you and your marriage.

Do you have any benzos you can take? You sound really stressed and anxious. ((HUGS))

I hope you feel better really soon! Take gentle care of yourself. Do you have a friend or family member you can talk to about these issues until you can see your T or pdoc?