I don't do well with door slamming at all. I hope this doesn't sound critical, but it sounds like your boyfriend lets his kids run wild. A nine-year old having a tantrum? Unless he is a special needs child, I think he's way too old to be having tantrums.

The PS4? If I were him, I'd unplug it and put it away and sit the children down and explain changes in their behavior need to be made. Video games are a privilege, not a right. And they are at YOUR house, too.

I'd be hiding in my bedroom as well. I have one daughter that is 16. We have our disagreements but the tantrums stopped by four years old.

I should point out that I'm sensitive to noise and chaotic children. Even if I am properly medicated, lol. I believe in using "inside voice" and no door slamming and limits. It can be hard parenting work, setting limits. It's easier to let kids run wild and do whatever they want.

If their bio mom parents this way, I still think your boyfriend can set limits when the kids are with him.

I think it's in the children's best interest to have boundaries set. It's a form of love, I think. I don't believe in corporal punishment but boundaries, absolutely.

Your neighbor deserves peace in her living space and the cat shouldn't be threatened. Period.

I hope this helps and no offense meant if my viewpoint is unpopular. .