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Old Oct 05, 2007, 08:28 AM
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Magnate
 
Member Since: Sep 2007
Location: Sch of hard knocks.
Posts: 2,179
Talking in T today about how I have just realised that she isn't going to "take" away my feelings. She smiled and said, "not going to do magic" LOL and I said "yeah I see that now, but give me a while to get over the relisation" LOL.

Toward the end of the session I had gone into myself and was letting my eyes wonder her books and she asked me where I had gone?

When she said that I realised I was not with her, I'm in the room, but sitting the edge.

I told her this, I said that I'm never with you, I'm always on the edge, she asked if that felt safe? I replied, yeah, yeah it does.

I told her that I've read books about intimacy and fear of it and thought, yeah, yeah, yeah, I get that I know that, but I said I've never really experienced that within me, never let myelf feel what it feels like to be on the edge, afraid, and never let myeslf experience what a real connection would feel like to me..

Not long after that the session was over, surprise, surprise LOL, but I felt I took a very causious step "in" toward T by saying that.

Now I feel this need inside to experience what connecting intimately would really feel like, I think there isn't so much to be scared of now.
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