Inside, you are a good person. Whatever happened, really doesn't matter. I too, always worried about what everyone else thought. Just think about if someone else came to you with the same secrets, how would you react? Would you condemn them? Throw them out? I doubt it. You would probably tell them its okay. Because inside you are still and always have been a good person. Whatever the world has thrown at you since, you are still a good person. I always worried about "losing everything." What I found out was how much of my life I wasted worrying about what everyone else thought. And the "everything" I was worried about losing? It wasn't worth all the time and effort it took to get in the first place. So, keep talking, keep writing. Don't be afraid to let it out, little by little. And don't judge yourself harder than you would treat someone else. Right? Yes, its awful. But don't let mean and judgemental people treat you this way. Trust us, we know. Just keep talking OK? And if you stop talking, really stop, call 911. I did once. And I'm glad I did.