Thanks Mouse and everyone,

I wish I could feel better. I spent all last night torturing myself about it. Didn't sleep a wink. I know I blew a perfectly good chance to up my starting salary, and I knew I was expected to take that chance (they were ready for it I know). Now I just feel like an idiot. I want to let it go in my mind, but I can't. Why did I do that?!?! Only about 6 simple words that I could have said and I'd feel 100 times better about myself today.

I really feel like a failure sometimes. Like I just can't make it in the "adult" world -- too cowardly.

The worst thing is that little mistakes torture me forever. I think about small things I did and said years ago and they still haunt me. This one will.

I just wish I could rewrite 5 minutes of my life. I'd feel happy today if I could.

Thanks for the support. Sorry I can't pull myself out of this. This is something ingrained in my personality that I need help with.

Sidony