Quote:
Originally Posted by Perna
You really only get to decide who you do/do not want to be with and there's nothing negative there. Someone else can't decide for you if a third person can stay with you? No need to point out that you don't like the person or anything else, you just say you're sorry but they can't stay with you. You don't have to give a reason, or you can go down as a "prude" or whatever by saying it's against school rules, etc., other people's opinions about your behavior are not fact, they are just there to help you evaluate your behavior for yourself; other people don't get a vote on what you like/do not like, do/do not do.
I would not tell others that a third person is bad news, I would just say that, for yourself, you do not wish to be at that activity/get together. Say you're going to study or whatever (whatever you are going to do if you don't do what everyone else is going to do); keep it impersonal. But bad mouthing a third person who isn't there for someone else's benefit, that's not a good idea; you don't know what their relationship is like and everyone has to learn their own lessons. That person may behave totally different around the person you are trying to "warn". If you have decided not to be involved, that's all you can do, your good judgment ends when it is no longer about your own needs.
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I know what you mean. I just hate it when it comes to those situations, others try to get me to do stuff that I don't want to do or feel comfortable about doing. That is why I did that. I felt like they needed to know the truth and be able to stand up for themselves as well rather than trying to be too polite and not say anything. Otherwise, I would have kept my mouth shut had they not pulled me into it. But yeah what you said makes sense.