I hope your husband is being supportive and understanding and not making you feel worse than you already do. He should be willing to be patient with you and work through these obstacles, not jump to the worst case scenario or hand down ultimatums (not sure if this is the case or if you are interpreting his actions this way). It sounds like you are doing the best that you can and are going through a particularly rough time. Do you communicate all of these thoughts and feelings to him? Do you tell him you want to want sex? that it's important to you? that you are willing to work on it? That you are worried he'll leave you over this and it's making things worse? That you need him on your team right now, perhaps with different expectations that usual? Please try to give yourself a break and remember that your needs are just as important as your husband's. If he can't handle that reality, then he doesn't deserve you. (also, as a sidenote: though I don't agree with him all the time, I really enjoy listening to the Savage Love Podcast - not sure if you're familiar, but it's all about love and sex and relationships and it often puts things in perspective for me and makes me feel less alone when i'm dealing with these sorts of issues). Give yourself a big hug and remember nothing ever stays the same <3