I just wanted to say that the mess of making things up in your imagination to the point where the fantasy feels as real (or even sometimes more real!) than real life is something I struggle with too. I'm probably misunderstanding your post somewhat, and unfortunately I don't have any good suggestions for helping it. But, you're not alone in feeling like that. It's really difficult to know who I am... a lot of life circumstances caused me to withdraw into my own world and then to kind of put on a mask just to get through daily life... not really being a part of it, but just enough to get by. But underneath that, I don't know where I went. I either have a real life fake me, or an imaginary fake me. Is that sort of what you're feeling? I hope you can find something to help make you feel better and move forward.