I am so tired of feeling like a walking corpse one minute, aggravated the next and then good the following.

I feel I'm a stranger in my own body and it's messed up. I so desperately want off this ride. I never realized how crippling Bipolar can be until now. I have this nagging desire to go shopping and have sex, to the point it hurts, but I just don't have the energy to act upon it. I'm in hell and just relying on the hope my medication works.

Being in this mixed state is a nightmare. I'm exhausted, but can't sleep, because I can't turn off my brain. Why can't there be an on/off switch?

I just wish to feel like my old self again.