Hello, this is my first post on this forum so please forgive my general ineptitude at expressing my query.

I've been struggling with severe mental illness for the past 2-ish years (I'm bipolar type schizoaffective) and it has been quite a ride, which I fear I cannot continue to sustain at the pitch I've been going at. I have tried basically the entire atypical antipsychotic suite, and have displayed a marked hypersensitivity to the cognitive and physical side effects of the medications. I have currently settled on latuda at 20mg as it seems to be the least debilitating option as of yet.

While I have been out of the hospital for about 4 months (which is an an achievement for me) I still suffer from:

Cognitive impairment, learning difficulties, & thinking disturbances - I have currently just begun taking Strattera in the hope that it will avail me in my quest to regain some level of functionality. I feel like I've developed some form of ADD/ADHD, however with my extreme susceptibility to manic/psychotic episodes, stimulants such as adderall are out of the question. I would love any input concerning the repossession of mental faculties: I used to be a moderately intelligent fellow and now I find I can hardly hold a thought in my head, I have lost all of my powers of concentration, and my thinking has become a disorganized shambles.

Lack of motivation, anhedonia, apathy, and detachment - I want with all that I am to triumph (although perhaps that isn't the appropriate word)over this and live some sort of life, but when it comes down to it, I find I just can't seem to get things moving; when I am actually engaging in anything besides the hamster wheel in my head, I find myself detached and apathetic, unable to truly participate in any experience.

Semi-PTSD, and occasional delusional type thinking- This has been a mainstay for the past year or so. I have found that despite putting on a pretense of well-being, and my myriad drug cocktails, traces of my incredibly intense psychotic/manic episodes have encroached upon my normal thinking. I have been unable to completely dispel my deranged thinking, or flashbacks to my less sane states/thoughts.(which were disturbing to the point of constituting a series of traumatic experiences)

Medication side effects- while I am aware that I am on a very low dose of medication, I still can't seem to escape a host of medication related side effects.

Forgive me for rambling, I'd love some veteran advice concerning the art of getting by, regaining some measure of your mental facility, and staying sane.

Thanks for reading