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Originally Posted by Blizz88
Hello everyone.
My partner and I have gotten back together, and it has been great thus far. He is consciously working on how he communicates when he is angered, as am I.
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Hello, Blizz88. Congratulations on reconciliation with your partner!
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In our previous relationship, things became stagnant. I felt like we were stuck in the same place, never moving forward. I wanted to really start our lives together. We had been together for 3.5 years and hadn't moved in together, weren't engaged, and we stopped going on regular dates. I understand that every relationship progresses at its own pace, but it caused us to get lazy in our relationship. I don't want that to happen again, but I'm unsure what his plans are. I don't want to just fall back into old habits.
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3.5 years is a long enough time to think about the future of your relationship and what each of you want for your future as a couple. You stated you are concerned about the relationship becoming stagnant again. I think this is an important concern for you as a couple and you deserve to know where the future stands for the two of you. He may be stalling for different reasons but it's speculation at this point, IMO.
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I don't know what to do. I don't want to rush him into anything, but I would like to move in together in the near future. I just don't want to get stuck in the same place again. I am ready for more, but I don't know if he is
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Ask him! Tell him you need to speak to him about your needs in your relationship and that you want to know what his needs are, too. This is the time to be very upfront about your needs - don't make ultimatums. Just be very clear that you are happy the two of you reconciled and you need to talk to him about your future as a couple.
If he stalls on having this conversation in the very least near future or has needs and goals that aren't similar to yours - think seriously about your future happiness and what you are willing to sacrifice and what are the critical things you want. Tell him what you want and be straightforward in a nondemanding but very clear way. Tell him to please be completely honest with you, too.
Good luck and keep us posted!:
