I have BPD.


My bf used to call timeouts when I went off the rails, and when we got back together after our last split he made it clear in no uncertain terms that if I push one more time, he will listen and not return when I inevitably calm down and change my mind.


Seems harsh but necessary, I struggle with boundaries as many of us do and he helped by setting them for us, in a clear, direct, yet non threatening manner.


By him explaining the toll my erratic behaviour was taking on him and what he needed from me to have a healthy relationship, it gave me the input I needed to work on myself effectively.


Sometimes we take people for granted, not maliciously, but because we become complacent.


Set your own boundaries, if she's getting too much, take a step back and focus on yourself, or at least on something more pleasant. Don't leave the ball entirely in her court, there's two of you in this friendship and she clearly doesn't know what the hell to do with the ball when left to her own devices.


PS. My behavior has improved dramatically due to self help and therapy, and my relationship has flourished into a healthy equal partnership.