Thank you. He has been with me before to appointments. We have also seen a therapist together to try to foster that communication. Unfortunately, they have been unsuccessful. He is not receptive to going to group because he thinks this isn't about his response but instead is my job to fix myself.
We had another argument yesterday where he blamed me for not telling him that I was "sick" when we met. In reality, I told him I have suffered with depression and was hospitalized once for self-harm. However, at that time I was also in a physically abusive relationship and I attribute a lot of my issues as circumstantial. I have never acted that way since then, however the depression remains and I still battle with the several years of abuse and how they still impact me. You don't just get over things, especially MI. It feels like he expects me to snap out of it. I go see therapists and feel great during the session but I have to come home and be reminded I am a freak and-- I don't know. What amount of therapy or medication can fix that?
I am feeling really low today. I feel like he doesn't understand and doesn't want to understand. He doesn't want to support me- he wants me to need no support. I was a very strong person when this relationship started. Now I feel incredibly weak and vulnerable. I don't blame him for that but I do feel that without his support, I am having a really tough time handling this by myself.
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