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Old Jul 14, 2016, 12:41 PM
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scorpiosis37 scorpiosis37 is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Apr 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 2,302
Quote:
Originally Posted by Macd123 View Post
Really - women don't like being called beautiful or lovely? I know I'm new to this online dating game but I thought giving someone a compliment on their appearance would be okay. Especially if they're trying to look their best. I agree that you should also comment on their interests (which I have) but the way Match.com is set up they almost encourage you to make a comment on someone's appearance. A lot of the photos very glamorous looking - seems like they want you to notice how they look - guys are very visual. Guess I'm doing it all wrong????
As a woman on a dating site currently, I can tell you that I get dozens of "you're beautiful" messages every day and I delete every one. Of course, you do want to choose a flattering picture to put up but I'm MUCH more interested in finding someone who matches my interests, education level, career path, etc. I am a person who wants to be treated with respect. The constant online "cat calls" have made me less open to online dating because it feels so much like the way I get harassed in real life. But it's hard to find new people any other way, so I just delete any messages about my appearance and focus on those who bother to read my profile and can write something intelligent and thoughtful. AFTER you have met someone in person and established a mutual connection, then you can compliment her appearance. But to do so in a first message on a dating site is a cat call and almost none of the women I know would respond well to that. Most of us automatically delete these.
Thanks for this!
Bill3, Middlemarcher, s4ndm4n2006