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Mouse_ said:
I still don't get how one can reach intimacy with a T when there is the client/therapist boundarys. I mean T isnt into self-discloser, so how does one bridge the "gap"? what do you talk about?
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Mouse, to me, your posts have always made it seem as if you and your T are intimate, so it surprises me to read that you think you are not. Are you sure?
Having an intimate relationship with my T has allowed me to have a greater degree of connection in some of the other relationships in my life. It has also made me realize I will not settle for zero connection and intimacy in my marriage, and this has made it easier to divorce.
I think the client/therapist boundaries just provide a secure frame, but don't prevent intimacy. The boundaries allow you to always know where you stand. Even if your T doesn't self disclose, you have give and take in your interaction, the sharing of feelings and thoughts, and jokes and special moments. Tears, laughter. You don't need self-disclosure to have all this.
mckell, I like your "perfect scenario." Why don't you share that with your T?
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can I come back in two weeks and you can show me how to get my 10 yr old to happily do his homework.
</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">LOL, I can so relate to this! Mine would be, "can you tell me how to get my 13 year old out of bed in the mornings and ready for school without her being incredibly grumpy and mean to me, all in time not to miss the bus so I don't get mad at her and end up having to drive her to school, be late to work, and start the day in a bad mood?"
Perna, I liked what you wrote about the bench and sitting side by side with your T. I went to the doctor earlier this week, and she sat right next to me as she read through all the reports of various diagnostic tests on me. She kept sitting side by side as we discussed the results and possible treatments. I felt really close to her, and it was good. It reminded me of a couple of sessions ago with T, how I went over to his couch and sat down next to him for a few minutes (so we could look at my book cover proofs together). That felt really good. I like the side by side.