CBT? It deals greatly with self-worth and shame. It was also helpful for beating back the PTSD.

But there is one thing you spoke about that hit home for me. the Creative connection. I lost that connection for these past 5 years and everyone of them was emotionally hell. My connection is the earth. I lost her, or my sense of her at least. I put my foot down and asked - no demanded - that I go on holiday in order to reconnect with her. It is a month away but already the joy I feel is overwhelming.

What can you do to find that 'spark' as you call it? Is it really that unattainable?