i know this feeling. my worst episode was a mixed one, lasted around 2 months and was so severe and upsetting. I later described it, as you have, as traumatic to my brain. It felt like my thoughts were made out of static, like what you see on TV when the power comes out. fuzzy and loud and you want it to turn off because it isn't functioning. I certainly did not feel the same afterwards, for a long time. I sometimes wonder if severe episodes can actually damage brain cells and affect future cognitive functioning. it feels like **** afterwards. sorry you're going through this, it is a real frustration and a real roadblock for a lot of life's responsibilities.