Wow, that's a lot of stress! (Milder way of saying "Abject Terror" -- I feel you.)

Your friend obviously has issues of her own, evidently in relating to OTHER people's life crises. One of our family members is like this; it's wearying, and disappointing, now -- but when we were younger we'd get furious w/her bc of her complete inability to even acknowledge the fact that the rest of us had struggles as well. HER drama was always top--intensity & very high pitched: -- my sister once said that S was 'An EVENT!! junkie', lol ~sigh

There's really no future in expecting help, support, or even recognition/acknowledgement from those who just are not capable of sparing notice for anything but their own needs. But boy is it frustrating. So sorry this friend is so oblivious.

Many good wishes to you and your partner. I hope there are others around you who will be kind and supportive. We all need to lean on someone a lil bit at times -- or at least to know we can if necessary.
Chyia,
Sending good thoughts