Well I mentioned something that had to do with sex and then we started talking about why it is so hard for me to talk about sex with him. I was telling him how I can pretty much talk it about it openly with anyone else except him. I said, "Do you want to know why I can't talk about sex with you?" (I honestly don't know what came over me; maybe it's the Lithium, lol).

I said, "The reason I can't talk about sex with you is because I am afraid of how it will transfer into the relationship between you and I. You see, I feel like even if I say something like-- hey, I had sex with my husband last night--that might mean I want to have sex with you!"



Seriously, what the %#@&#! was I thinking?

And he had the best response. He goes, "Well-- it only took two years for this to come out." And I said, "Well it's not something that should really come out on a first session." And he said, "Or a first date," and we both started laughing.

(Of course I made this announcement exactly 5 minutes before the end of the session). He said, "If this is something that you want to explore more, we can-- but I won't push you to do so." I told him not to worry about that since this was my last session and I was never coming back, lol.

AND.... (I was really in rare form this evening) I spoke with him all about my fear of rejection and I told him, "I wanted to make you a CD." I told him the reasons I wanted to make it for him... then told him the reasons why I thought he'd reject it.

At the end of the session he goes, "Well, even though you didn't make me a CD this week, I made you two." And he handed me two more Schubert CDs because last week I told him that I had completely fallen in love with Schubert.

He had asked me, "Why would you think I would reject a CD from you?"

I can make him one now.

I told him about my dream with the colored pencils.

I cried in session. Yes, you heard me. I cried. I mean, I was able to keep it within my standards (crying is allowed, but as long as it does not require tissues).

I was seriously in rare form tonight. Stuff was just spilling out like crazy. These hour and a half sessions are insane.