Quote:
Originally Posted by Macd123
I don't know if I can agree with all of this. I do think women appreciate compliments on their looks. As a man, it's the first thing I notice - sorry but it's true. I agree that ambition, intelligence, humor, etc are all good qualities, however, these probably won't be obvious until you actually have a conversation with the person. I still don't see anything inherently wrong with saying someone is beautiful if I think they are. It's really hard to focus on someone's other qualities when you don't know them. A lot of the profiles I've seen are pretty redundant - I like movies, books, food, walks, etc. That's not going to grab my attention but a lovely smile will. Sorry if I offend but we're talking intial impressions here.
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Of course women, well people in general do like to hear they are attractive to others. I think part of the misunderstanding here not that anyone is saying that telling a women that they are attractive is inherently wrong. What I do see being said here is that it is not something that should be the first thing you say to her.
You won't know more about them until you have a conversation with them but again as I've said before you won't get those conversations from "I think you're gorgeous" comments alone and especially if it's not the first thing out of you.
Plus I think it's almost a given that there is an attraction there if you even try to make a connection. very rarely will someone hit on another person or try to connect with them irl or online if there is no physical attraction.
It seems to me you come up with a lot of reasons to complain and deflect a lot of the advice here. People are giving you many ideas, and ways to approach this whole dating thing and I only see you digging your heels in further making a stance that nothing in what you are doing is wrong or ineffective. You want to continue doing the same thing yet it's not working but you also have a rebuttle, argument or deflection of everything people are suggesting here.
Women your age, you have a reason you dont' want to do that. Idk about now but it sounded like it previously that you were aiming for younger women (not saying that's wrong but widening your net couldn't hurt) how you approach women on these sites, you claim that there is nothing "inherently wrong" in what you're doing, as if to say the reason behind your lack of connections is something other than the way you are approaching things.
You cannot change the online dating system to fit your way of approaching women. You can't change the women receiving your messages to accept your style of approaching them either. The only thing left is you. You are the only thing in this equation that YOU can change. If something is not working, try a different approach, be flexible and be open minded to different ideas or you'll remain in the same rut.