Falling pretty hard right now. Saw my T today and it was very hard to talk about things. The suicidal thoughts have come back and so has the apathy. I see my pdoc in 2 hours. I am not sure yet what I am really going to tell him. My T of course wants me to be totally honest. She wants me to email her after my appointment to see how it goes. I think I need to take another Xanax.

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