All I can say is don't give up, keep being honest with your Dr's. I know it is hard to trust them when a lot of what they do is making educated guesses that have drastic effects on our lives. I've spent half my life in therapy with Dr's trying different meds. My body tends to have very negative/drastic responses to a lot and I've had several hospitalizations. I'm 28 yrs old and for the first time since I was at least 6, I have gone over a year without hallucinations. I have my life back and although I know things could change and I may need to go inpatient again to get meds adjusted, I can tell you that for me it has all been worth it. Life still can be horrible, I still deal with side effects, and constant muscle pain, but I can at least live my life now and have meaningful relationships now. I still have days where I have to fight not to give up, but my life is so much better than it used to be.