Thanks for the posts and opinions. They have helped me think this through some more.

In the title of the thread I said "on purpose" and reading what has been posted, it makes me question whether it's on purpose or not. I do know that it happens, but I'm not sure that it is my doing - on purpose.

When I started going to my trail and running, it was in response to a situation that could be considered traumatic. I witnessed myself "split" in a reaction to being mentally/verbally backed into a corner and my mind not knowing how to deal with - how to make it right. The "runner" came from that point of impact.

So now, after thinking about it and reading these posts, I'm wondering if I'm experiencing a "shift" as apposed to "going away" if that makes sense.

I'm wondering if the part that split off from me then, is what I shift into when I go there. That part "the runner" feels like it would be everything I could not be in that moment.

Does that make any sense?

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