I understand what you're going through. As a result of a few cancellations and something I overheard last year, I figured out that my marriage counselor has someone living with him who requires 24-hour care (a home health worker). Earlier this year, from a story he told, I thought maybe it was his wife. I asked my T about it (they're in the same practice and friends), and though she didn't answer, I saw her eyes well up with tears, which told me I was right. He's someone I already care about and am attached to (some paternal and a bit of erotic transference), and this was really upsetting to me. He's in his early 50s (I think she is, too), which is only 12 years older than me, so it just seems so young, plus they have two teens.

I ended up asking him about it one session, though I wasn't sure if it was OK. He didn't give me many details, but did confirm that it was his wife and said things like it was a chronic issue for now, that it was manageable, and that he'd rather deal with this particular condition/illness than some other ones. From another story he told recently (about "a relative"), I figured out that she's probably in a wheelchair. He had to cancel a few sessions in a row a couple months ago, one of which he said was due to a "family emergency," which made me worried. Both for him, because I didn't want him to suffer, and also because I was afraid he'd have to be gone for a long time or would decide to, say, practice from his home instead (which is an hour away from me). Ended up talking to him about it then, too, and again, he didn't give me details, but confirmed that things were OK. And that he didn't anticipate having to take any extended leave or stop practicing.

I can't imagine your situation, where it's his young daughter... As much as I want to know exactly what's going on with MC, I feel like it probably is better if I don't know the specifics. So your T probably shouldn't have told you it was cancer and that he's cancelling so his daughter can go to chemo, but since you're new, maybe he didn't want you to think he was just flaking out.

So my suggestion is to talk to him about it. Talk about your concerns in your next session. For now, send him the e-mail asking for the bill (I assume he doesn't have a receptionist/administrative assistant you could ask?) He should at least attend to those parts of his job, even if he can't come into the office. But I'd talk to him about how you're worried that right now he can't be there for you. Tell him how you didn't want to bother him by sending the bill. I suspect he'll say it's fine to do that, how he has to take care of himself, that he appreciates your concern. But really, when he does come in to the office, his job is probably a good outlet for him, to focus on other people's lives and help them, when maybe he feels helpless in his own life. My MC has said before that he loves his job, and I suspect many T's feel the same way. So they want to be helping other people, even as they're struggling themselves.