I have ALWAYS felt messed up and NEVER felt like an adult (almost 50here). Now I know many people just don't feel their age, so I never thought much about it but I am a bit further gone then I also know would be normal. I use a comfort item on a constant basis and often feel even much younger then the young me I normally feel. I know this is confusing to follow and I'm not sure I will be able to explain it clearly.

I have brushed the 'very young' feeling (when I say feeling, let me say it is extreme feeling.. I want a thumb in my mouth sometimes and even talk out loud in a younger voice... now I can prevent this stuff from being seen outwardly,like I can force myself to not let that babble talk come out and not allow my thumb in my mouth or change it to bite a fingernail so it's appropriate, so I don't know if some of this would be considered did our just regressive episodes... but it's crazy. )

Where my mind is going now is to the fact that I have NEVER felt my age and again with felt, I mean in many ways. I remember being in high school and the girls going on about cute guys outside and I just didn't understand. It seemed foreign to me and I never could figure out what they were seeing. I know that's a strange example but I was just realizing that as on older adult, I still don't get it. Ib know I'm an adult (my mirror provesv it) but I don't feel like one. I drive age have held down good jobs and know that I have regularly catch myself thinking things like I am not old enough to do or understand things before me.

I know I'm not explaining clearly. I guess what I am trying to figure out is if anyone else experiences still feeling like a child and having senses of a child but also the knowledge that it can't be true because your an adult, but that can't be true, I need my *** (comfort item), I can see my old hands so I know I'm an adult, but I feel insecure like a child and am to scared to get out of my own bed... etc. . Etc... I am very confused and really don't know what is going on with me and the more I think about it and remember how much and how many strange things have filled my past, the more confused I get.